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Health & Fitness

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Mother's Day Dilemma

This is my first blog on Newtown Patch and look forward to writing more. It is only fitting that since we are so close to Mother’s Day that my first topic should be about Mother’s Day. There is an irreverent joke at the end, hoping you will read through this before you get to the good stuff.

First I believe you should know a little about me and the ‘stage’ that I am in today. I am a 61-year-old with both a 93-year-old mother and a 92-year-old mother-in-law and also married to the mother of my three grown and married children. With three mothers I guess you can see here the potential for a dilemma. When faced with a problem it is often best to put yourself in the other person's shoes and hence think along the lines of what these mothers would want for ‘their’ day. We also have to factor in the fact that I am in the ‘Oreo’ generation and how do I handle all three without going nuts or feeling guilty.

My mother in law is in Florida alone as her husband passed away several years ago. Not much of a choice there, but will send flowers and call.

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My mother lives much closer in Philadelphia. Until recently we lived much farther away and since hence she has pretty much settled into spending time with my brother and his family on Mother’s Day. Again we will send flowers and call leaving a message if she still out, and that may require a follow up phone call on Monday. Not sure all that works out for her. Ideally she would like her three kids, 11 grandchildren and eight great-grandchildren there together.

Impossible for sure as most of them are spread out across the country, have their own families, plus their own in-law equations. Sometimes moms have to ‘settle’ (well-adjusted ones are used to that), but she will have loved ones with her, receive flowers, and phone calls so that should help some. I think just acknowledgement of the day and recognition is good for a mom.

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Now that leaves me with the mother of my children. I believe I may be in a routine here. I get up early make coffee and breakfast. She arrives when she hears me making noise in the kitchen or when I ask her where something is. I kiss her and wish her a happy Mother’s Day, and she says, "where is my gift?" I respond, "you are not my mother so no gift." We laugh and get on with a nice breakfast. When I asked her a few weeks ago what she wanted for mother’s day she talked about getting together with the kids and going to a restaurant, but remembered with a little coaching  that she really did not like how busy restaurants are and how they make you feel rushed. She said she really didn’t have time to talk to the kids there either.

So this year we agreed that I would cook a nice dinner (ham plus all the fixings). This year we are having just one child and spouse here as one is in Hawaii on vacation and the other is doing an in law switch (Mothers Day there, Fathers Day here). We are ok with that and create no pressure nor lay a guilt trip. We just go with the flow and enjoy whomever we have. It really does work out in the long run. They are all great kids and we really enjoy spending time with them.

So dilemma mostly solved, not feeling real guilty, and hope that Moms will enjoy their day. You know sons/dads enjoy when moms are happy, too.

Joke: No, it’s not a Mother’s Day joke, but it has been five days since Osama Bin Laden is dead, so jokes are now starting to appear.

Guy goes into a bar and asks the bartender for a ‘bin laden’, bartender says, ‘I never heard of that’. Guys says, ‘it's 2 shots and a splash’.

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