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Health & Fitness

Newtown and Other Stuff

The Mailbox Affair

OK, so why would someone write about their mailbox?

My first experience with an actual mailbox was when we purchased our first house in Maryland, which was new construction. Prior to that, we only had contact with mail slots.

After the movers left us with a mountain of boxes and the normal chaos of furniture in the wrong rooms/location we decided to take a break and get just one simple thing accomplished. Something we desperately needed, something that would make us feel like we belonged in our brand new neighborhood. We settled on the mailbox as the solution. We were young and thought that there is no better way to identify with your new home until you receive your first piece of mail with your new address.

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I went to the nearest Sears store and headed right to the hardware department. I guess I looked somewhat confused because I was approached by a salesperson who offered assistance. He showed me the different models and suggested a post for the mailbox. I hadn’t thought about that as I thought they came together. I did have the foresight to think of a shovel. I needed that to dig the hole for the post. On the way back home I realized that I went for one thing and bought three. Is this what being a homeowner means? Cascading purchases for each task around the house? Future years as a homeowner reinforced this assumption.

Well I dug the hole, put the post in, and set the mailbox on top. We were ready and I felt good about getting this one thing done and out of the way. Next day we had a note in the mailbox from our postal worker. It appears that I set the mailbox to the wrong height and we would not receive any mail until I fixed the problem. Darn, I thought this mailbox thing was over. I didn’t know there were "rules" about mailboxes. OK, my mistake. I re-dug the hole, deeper this time and all went OK from there.

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We relocated again for work three years later, this time to New Jersey, where we bought another house that was new construction. Faced with the same issue and being a quick study I upgraded my mailbox purchase with a nicer one with matching post. Installation went well and I thought, "gee I have this mailbox thing figured out."

Our next home was not new construction so I was not faced with a new purchase until the plastic box we had literally fell apart from a severe cold snap. This time I replaced it with a USPS approved model and had no further issues.

The mailbox was always there delivering us good news in the form of birthday cards and IRS refunds, some bad news as well with bills and tons of junk mail. We were happy though. It is was consistent if nothing else.

On our next move we downsized, as we were empty nesters, to a townhome in a gated community. This time our mail was delivered to a small box that was part of a much bigger mailbox that was shared by others and you needed a key to access. Since this larger community mailbox was a half a block away and there were severe winters in the Mid West, we did not pick up the mail every day. One time we received a note in our now empty mailbox saying that our mail was overflowing and we had to pick up our mail at the local post office.

Wow that was unexpected, but it was our fault. A quick trip to the post office fixed that and it only happened twice more, usually when we went on vacation. Still an a pain in the butt nonetheless.

Another relocation for work brought us to Newtown. This time we decided on a single family home and the mailbox was one of the factors in the buying decision as dealing with that community mailbox had its drawbacks. Our house came with an upgraded mailbox, very colonial, with a matching post with our house number on the side. This box sat on a tray that was attached to the post. Hadn’t seen this before, so much better than what we were used to.

Over the next two years, the box began to work its way loose, and I would take it apart and put larger sheet metal screws in to tighten things up. It would eventually work its way loose again. One time when we were out of town for a couple of days the box fell off,  scattering our mail in the street. One of our neighbors did a good deed and picked up our mail and even put the box back on the post for us. Gee we love our neighbors in Newtown. This time I needed to fix it right. I drilled two more holes into the post and this baby is not going anywhere.

A couple of months later my wife decided to move her SUV out of the driveway so our son who lives in Virginia could easily navigate the stroller and luggage for his young family on their weekend visit. She parks the car on the street and tomahawks the mailbox with the mirror of her SUV. She sits the mailbox back on the post, comes into the house and tells me that I need to check the mailbox again. "It’s loose," she says. I think that’s impossible, but check anyway.

After surveying the damage, I go back in the house and with a brief interrogation she owns up to it. Doesn’t change the result of course so I fix it again drilling two more holes into the post, which looks like swiss cheese by now. I get it all put back together it holds tight but the lid doesn’t close quite right. It’s functional, but not perfect. I decide its good enough and move on.

Not that I am obsessive with mailboxes, but I now worry about the USPS mailbox on Marigold Drive. It is close for us to drop off our mail so it’s convenient. Marigold Drive in Newtown Grant is very wide and the mailbox gets a lot of use. This mailbox has a slot for outgoing mail for drive by drop offs, but it is on the passenger side. Many people make U-turns to gain access and some will even drive on the opposite side of the road to put their mail in from the driver’s side so they won’t have to get out of the car.

There have been several near misses with other cars and, on two occasions, people have knocked over the light pole across the street as they make the U-turn too fast. One lady said she had a bee in her car and lost control before hitting the light pole. I’m not buying that one as I haven’t seen a bee around here in a long time. Someone also hit a tree on Marigold before we moved here so not sure the circumstances around that one, but it could be mailbox related as well.

Several months ago, I see a sign from the USPS on the drop down lid saying that the mailbox is being removed in the next six weeks. It even gave the exact date of its removal. Are we a victim of government cutbacks? What’s next, five-day mail delivery? Postal worker pension reform? 

Or, just maybe someone is addressing the problem. The six weeks go by and nothing happens. We are well past the due date when, without warning, the note about the removal disappears. The mailbox must be staying, a concerned citizen must have complained. Hope that same concerned citizen took the time to vote yesterday. Maybe the USPS couldn’t afford to move it as it may be facing bankruptcy. Who knows? But the drama appears to be over.

At any rate the mail is moving and so are our lives. Time to focus on the really important stuff, but sometimes I get these nightmares about mailboxes... 

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