Bucks Poet Reflects on Aurora Shooting

Shortly after last week’s , was asked by a local political leader to write a poem about the tragedy.

Feiner told Patch the poem, "Distinctions," is dedicated to the families and victims of the movie theater shooting.

“I didn’t write this from a political viewpoint, I wrote this to engage people in a dialog," she said. “I want them to think about the complexities and really think about what happened.”

The longtime poet said she hopes the poem can start a conversation where people across the country can ask: “What exactly is going on in our country?”

It’s a question that Feiner, a stay-at-home mom, has found herself asking in the wake of the shooting.

“We’re a country that loves our children, but our children are overexposed,” Feiner said, referring to the amount of violence in popular media. She added she wonders whether the glamorization and prevalence of violence influences the way children grow up, or whether it is just in our nature.

Below is Feiner's poem:

"DISTINCTIONS"

For the families and for the victims of the July 20, 2012 shooting in Aurora, CO.

1.

Yesterday our five-year old son stepped down

the stairs, pointed the cordless telephone to my heart

and shot me, assassin style, eye to eye.

When I asked him why he shot me, he said

I was a cobra, and left it at that. How

do I know that he will not be one

of the ones who will snap? That years

from now, his distinction between stick

and gun, person and prop, will not

be made and he, good, quiet, smart,

will be the one to walk into the dark theatre

as if he were a character in a show

and shoot everyone? That he will

mistake movie blood for real blood,

mistake sound studio bangs for bullet shots?

Aren’t you also worried? Worried

for your daughters and sons?

2.

I have always wanted to shoot a gun.

To feel what it feels like to lock and load,

shoot and feel my body thrown backwards.

I know this is not ok to say, especially today,

even if I live in rural Pennsylvania,

that I am on the wrong side of the fence

to talk of guns and why we have them.

3.

I understand a shotgun in a shoebox

hidden in a drawer. I understand that

if a burglar broke in that my husband

and I would do anything to defend

our family and our home.

I understand hiding in the tall grass

and waiting for the geese to fly overhead,

or walking in the woods with an orange vest

until the deer pounces from the brush.

And I understand distrust in the government

for without this, we would not be the nation

that we are, but explain to me,

explain to me the need for

over 6,000 rounds of ammunition,

an AR-15 rifle drum magazine carrying

100 rounds, a Remington 870 pump-action

shot gun, and .40 caliber Glock that fires

larger bullets and makes bigger holes, which

by the way, I just added to my cart

on the internet, one click, two clicks, mine.

4.

Is it gun control that we so need?

Is it thought control that we so need?

Is it that we are a nation who is so

chaotic and creative that we forget 

that our children need, more than anything

for us to be there to loving say no?

5.

No one needs to regulate sticks and stones,

knives and bricks. It takes a gruesome

bravery to hit, slice skin, throw rocks

from such a close distance that your skin

and the victim’s skin is connected. That you

can see their eyes, smell their blood?

6.

My son runs away with his telephone gun.

I cannot change his nature or the nature of man.

I cannot alter the need to hunt

or even to smash. I cannot alter

the need to kick pigeons and

pick up sticks and say, boom!

But I fall to the floor and play dead, anyhow.

Our son hears my fake groan

and comes to me, asks what happened.

I tell him he shot me, and that now

I am dead.

He surrenders the phone, hugs me

and tells me that he doesn’t

want me to die. Cause and effect.

Person versus prop. That we are here

for each other -- how can we teach this --

teach this to them all?

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